• Benjamin Gear

It All Boils Down to...

Sooooo, “ all boils down to the experience we bring others.” said a buddy of mine when talking about an extraordinary dining experience he had in Nashville over the holidays. This sprouted a brain tree (more like a shrub) and this is that.

Each day/week/month is a compilation of experiences that sculpt the story of our lives, the big memories. That guy at the office who is just a miserable lump and mean to everyone everyday. Or that barista who always chats everyone up, hooks up the free extra shot when possible but always has dope ass foam designs, these are the stage setters for experiences that make for memories.

The asshole from work doesn’t consider that his funky ass attitude can carry a stench and weight lasting longer than the work day. A weight that can serve as the unrelated straw breaking the back of the last fuck one had to give. The result is making compromised decisions from a place of diminished optimism causing a chain reaction of repressed experiences. The barista may not consider the fact that the generosity of casual conversation, an extra shot, or cool design can extend beyond the 5 minutes in the store, but they do.

Genuine niceties are like perceptive foreplay, laying the groundwork to notice, welcome, and embrace the best in everything. They prime us to receive and reciprocate delight causing a chain reaction of affected decisions that encourage broader experiences. A memory or ones grand story is going to be made up of a slew of happenings much further reaching than we as individuals can be traced to, but it doesn’t mean we didn’t play a part.

The gratuitous kindness, compassion, generosity, selflessness, thoughtfulness, patience, wave, smile, wink (well maybe don’t wink, but you get it) can free a person to experience the next moment with the unrestricted openness life is intended to be taken in with. Every single interaction is a contribution to a life experience and we can either contribute as day dimmers or day brighteners but “it all boils down to the experience we bring others.”

In short: Don’t Be a Dick

Happy 2018

Thanks for reading.


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