Sooooo, how about holy frikin cow!!! I have been in this disconnected, morbid, funk for like two weeks. Not really sure what specifically brought it on but my guess is that it’s because I have been pretty lax in all of my mindfulness practices. I haven’t been myself so I haven’t felt ‘connected’ resulting in an inability to write. This has been a pretty miserable spell.
I’m not totally in the clear by any stretch but what I realize is that I need to keep working…#nodaysoff. ‘Accepting the Ebb’ was a piece I was working on when this funk became real. Basically, it was coming to an understanding of the fact that everything is temporal: ease/discomfort, happiness/sadness, ebb/flow.
I’d fallen into a really good rhythm with writing, putting out weekly Thursday Thoughts and bi-weekly main PI posts. I don’t want to make it sound like some supernatural occurrence or whatever but it was just like something would be on my mind/heart, I pray “God, let this reach whoever is supposed to receive this. Your words not mine.”, and then I’d just start writing. It just flowed. I never really had to put a ton of thought into what I wrote and that was comforting. I felt like I was carrying a message rather than creating one.
Slowly and extremely subtly meditation started to become a more sparse happening. Rather than every morning it became a couple times a week...when I remembered. Prayer, laughable almost. I’d squeeze in a quick “thank’s, Your will not mine” kinda thing and go about my day. You’d have thought I was doing God the favor by talking to Him. Quite shameful. The inverse of that insanity thing is doing things differently expecting the same results. I changed my practices so of course I’m going to feel disconnected.
I thought I’d abandoned God or my purpose, or even worse, that God had abandoned me (which is an impossibility). I thought about quitting writing and dismantling PI under the assumption that I’d done all I was supposed to do in this avenue. Then I remembered that all discomfort is a call to alignment.
Let’s talk about rumble strips. We’ve all been on the highway and for whatever reason veered over the yellow line on either of the shoulders and hit the rumble strips. We hear the pattering hum of the tires over the perforated road and we recognize that we need to get back in the middle of our lane. The universe works the exact same way.
We all have a path (or road if you will) and ALL OF OUR PATHS LEAD TO GREATNESS but that comes with a requirement. That requirement is doing what we know to be right, remaining teachable, and always striving for more. Resting on our laurels is a) the quickest way to mediocrity and b) the biggest snub to our purpose. The universe puts rumbles strips on our journey to help call attention to where we need realignment.
I was driven and hella motivated and it got me places with opportunities. I don’t know if I got comfortable or arrogant or whatever but I stopped doing the things that got me there...I got lazy. No different than dozing off at the wheel, I started to drift off of my path and boom, there goes discomfort (the rumble strips).
I, as we all do, have an option at this juncture. Find the cause of the discomfort and change me or, lower my standards and expectations for myself and allow discomfort to become my station until misery seems normal. Figuratively and literally, if you ignore the rumble strips you wind up in a ditch: Fact.
Wow, this is all working itself out for me as I’m writing this.
Plateaus are deceptive rest stops. This has happened to me so many times in my journey you’d think I’d be more aware of it by now. Every time I’ve reached a new (higher, better) station I chillax as though I’ve arrived, lololol. It’s ridiculous really but I know that having spent a healthy majority of my life accomplishing nothing, I milk the hell out of my unexpected triumphs. Nothing really wrong there, that’s just gratitude. The problem is staying there as though that is all I’m meant to do or be.
When shit gets rocky, I believe it’s one or both of two things: 1) A call to recognize missteps in thoughts, feelings, and actions to be realigned with our purpose and/or 2) Preparation to level up, which could be why 1 is being double checked. I heard it said that “a (emotional/situational/physical) bottom is when your situation worsens before you have a chance to lower your standards.” Rumble strips are the opportunity to decide whether to accept disconnection, discomfort, less from what’s wanted, desired, or our birthright as humans (greatness) or attend to what promotes us becoming the best version of ourselves.
I got comfortable and stopped doing the things that facilitated the connection to my source for growth. Funny how getting comfortable can produce discomfort. I have to stay alert, recognize my rumble strips and their purpose and never, ever choose to lower my standard of effort output.
“Successful people are in the habit of being disciplined. Undisciplined people are in the habit of being unsuccessful.”
If you have/know what works with regards to your growth, stick with it and add to it. Don’t get complacent and don’t stop trying because that’s a pretty proficient way to wind up back to square one.
If it ain’t broke...